Not at all surprisingly, the rapture has apparently been postponed. 5:59 pm on the twenty-first of May, two-thousand and eleven came and went as it does every other day. My only regret is that I failed to capitalize on all this doomsday nonsense. I read an article today about a post-rapture pet spa, where a team of friendly atheists promised to care for your pets after you made your ascent to Heaven. Genius! Although, does this mean that pets don't go to Heaven? If so, A) Disney is a big, fat liar. And B) I don't know that I can buy into a religion that thinks humans are the only life form that are allowed entrance into the pearly gates. It just seems unfair, and a little bit elitist (religious extremists being unfair and elitist?! No way. . .). However, if this means that mountain lions will be stuck burning in a lake of fire, I think the Christians should really consider using that as a selling point. If you put that on a billboard, then I'm buying whatever you're selling.
But back to the rapture. Or lack thereof. If you're Harold Camping, how do you explain being wrong about this? And not only once, but twice! My guess is that after his 1994 prediction failed to materialize, he picked a date far enough in the future by which he assumed he'd be dead already, thus not having to deal with an explanation. Epic fail, Mr. Camping. I've got to hand it to you, though. I didn't know if anyone could top the Scientologists in the idiocy department, but you totally win.
The good news: The rapture didn't fail to happen, it's just been postponed until October 21st. So if you missed your chance to throw a judgment day party or profit on the 6 people left who still believe this garbage, then you get a second shot.
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