I just called to hear your voice. . . mail.

I might be the worst voice mail message leaver ever.  Seriously, it's really bad.  So bad, in fact, that I rarely ever leave messages.  On the rare occasion that I do, it's usually just a two minute long disaster.  I try to keep it to a simple, "Hey, it's Nik.  Call me back!"  But right after I say that, I think, well they know I called.  If I'm leaving a voice mail it should be more important then notifying them that I called.  I mean, they can clearly see that in their call log.  So then I freeze and feel like I need to say something a little more important.  "Hey, it's Nik.  Call me back! . . .  Oh my god, the craziest thing happened to me today!"

As the words are coming out of my mouth, I realize that I have no follow up.  Did something crazy happen to me today?  Probably.  I tend to be a magnet for absolute insanity.  But still, I clearly did not think this message through.  So I pause again.  Then, instead of just hanging up like a sane person, now I feel like I actually have to tell a story on the voice mail.   So I'll start to recount the tale of whatever absurdity I encountered most recently.  About 30 second into it, I realize just how very much I suck at telling stories.  I tend to trail off or lose my train of thought, which, I can tell you, is even worse to listen to on voice mail then it is in person.  

The message almost always ends with me apologizing and and muttering, "Oh my god. . . worst message EVER.  Well hey, it's Nik.  Call me back!"  Full circle.  One hundred and twenty seconds of your life that I just carelessly threw away, as though they were a used condom, or an Eagles record. 

So. . . If you ever get a voice mail message from me, just go ahead and delete it.  If it's important, I'll just text you.