Welcome to my blog. You'll like it here...

...Or maybe you won't.

You may be (but are probably not) asking yourself, why is Nikki starting a blog?  For starters, I'm pretty much the most awesome person I know, and I figured that you might like to know me, too.  Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, I'm really bored. All of the time. And since I usually have no one to talk to, I figured this is a good way to make it seem like someone is listening.

I'm going to go ahead and do a quick Q&A with myself to clear up any other questions you may have in regard to my blog.

Q:  Why is your blog called Top of the Food Chain?
A: Well, it all goes back to mountain lions (and maybe dinosaurs).  And as soon as I can figure out how to use this blog, I'll have a nice diagram for you guys that I think will do this question more justice than anything I can type.

Q: Why is your web address www.mountainlionswilleatyou.blogspot?
A: Because some other asshole already took topofthefoodchain.blogspot. Oh, and also because it's true. Mountain lions WILL eat you. They will eat the shit out of you.  Don't worry, I'll touch more on this subject later.  And often. 

Q: Are you really the most awesome person you know?
A: It's not likely. I mean, I started a blog because I have no one to talk to.  You do the math. Also, in my head, Bill Simmons and I are best friends... Which would mean that I am definitely not the coolest person I know.

Ok.  Well, that seems like as good as spot as any to stop. Goodnight, zero readers.